playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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