sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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