Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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