I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
