yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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