the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
