Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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