mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
In America we eat man semen.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
