I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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