I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
