So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
