I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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