apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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