hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
