Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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