even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
