Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
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