Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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