I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
