I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize