I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Let's get the cat blown out
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize