I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Damn victory sex feels great
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
