my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
