What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
