have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize