I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
