I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
