Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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