she was so not down for the gang bang
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
