My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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