So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
