Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
