U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
