How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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