The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
