My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize