I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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