I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
