I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
