no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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