My friends, they love my intelligence
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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