those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
