You're completely useless in the revolution.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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