my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
