I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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