I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
ttyl tear gas
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
