My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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