If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
