Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize