I want to have your abortion
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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