So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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