I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize