I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
