I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
