Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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