a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
