he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
