Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
