He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
