Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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