chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
