The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
