I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
