I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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