Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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